NO BECAUSE THIS WAS SO CANON. The rare occasions Jesper was actually hospital-level sick (which, for him, meant "on the brink of pneumonia and still thinks it's minor dehydration")—were mythical events in the Bubbly Boy lore. And Jens? Jens entered those sterile hospital rooms like a Viking god descending from the skies just to scream at five feral middle-schoolers.
Scene: Jesper: sitting upright like he’s fine, IV in one arm, oxygen mask on chin, phone held sideways with one trembling hand. On screen: Milos is getting absolutely destroyed in Smash Legends. Jesper (wheezing):
“YOU'RE SO BAD MILOS. YOU'RE ACTUALLY SO—COUGH COUGH—TRASH—" "Tijjani YOU’RE TEAMKILLING ME—” “Sam, give me back the charger or I’m removing your contact lenses.”
Meanwhile: Sven is calmly playing Blackjack on the IV machine monitor. Tijjani is screaming. Sam is filming the whole thing and sending it to Jesper’s mom with “puppy’s still very energetic today :)” Milos is in tears. Yuki is standing in the corner with hands folded, whispering:
“me no english. me no involved.”
Door slams open. Enter Danish boyfriend. Jens is radiating Danish Wrath™, shirt half-tucked, shoulders flexed, hair slightly damp from rain, carrying a tote bag full of supplements and herbal tea he forced Jesper to take in 2021.
Jens (voice low but deadly):
“WHAT. IS GOING ON HERE.” “You’re on oxygen. You are on OXYGEN. And you’re playing a ranked match???” “Sven get off the bed. Milos give me the phone. Sam delete that video. Tiji you’re not even allowed in hospitals.” “Yuki... thank you for trying. I know you tried.”
Yuki (softly):
“me... no succeed. they loud.”
Jesper (muffled behind mask):
“Babe wait I almost won. One more round—” Jens, already unplugging the Switch: “NO. YOU’RE ON OXYGEN JESPER. YOU CAN BARELY BREATHE. WE’RE PLAYING RESTING TODAY.”
The rest of the Bubbly Boys: booing in 7 different dialects. Jens: unfazed. already tucking Jesper in like a mad toddler and tasing the rest of the gang out of the room with nothing but stern eye contact and the full-body aura of concerned boyfriend rage.
Because yeah, Jesper always started it. But Jens? Jens ended it. Every time. And the Bubbly Boys? They feared no man. But they feared the wrath of a Viking whose raccoon was on oxygen.
NO BECAUSE THIS WAS SO CANON. The rare occasions Jesper was actually hospital-level sick (which, for him, meant "on the brink of pneumonia and still thinks it's minor dehydration")—were mythical events in the Bubbly Boy lore. And Jens? Jens entered those sterile hospital rooms like a Viking god descending from the skies just to scream at five feral middle-schoolers.
Scene: Jesper: sitting upright like he’s fine, IV in one arm, oxygen mask on chin, phone held sideways with one trembling hand. On screen: Milos is getting absolutely destroyed in Smash Legends. Jesper (wheezing):
“YOU'RE SO BAD MILOS. YOU'RE ACTUALLY SO—COUGH COUGH—TRASH—" "Tijjani YOU’RE TEAMKILLING ME—” “Sam, give me back the charger or I’m removing your contact lenses.”
Meanwhile: Sven is calmly playing Blackjack on the IV machine monitor. Tijjani is screaming. Sam is filming the whole thing and sending it to Jesper’s mom with “puppy’s still very energetic today :)” Milos is in tears. Yuki is standing in the corner with hands folded, whispering:
“me no english. me no involved.”
Door slams open. Enter Danish boyfriend. Jens is radiating Danish Wrath™, shirt half-tucked, shoulders flexed, hair slightly damp from rain, carrying a tote bag full of supplements and herbal tea he forced Jesper to take in 2021.
Jens (voice low but deadly):
“WHAT. IS GOING ON HERE.” “You’re on oxygen. You are on OXYGEN. And you’re playing a ranked match???” “Sven get off the bed. Milos give me the phone. Sam delete that video. Tiji you’re not even allowed in hospitals.” “Yuki... thank you for trying. I know you tried.”
Yuki (softly):
“me... no succeed. they loud.”
Jesper (muffled behind mask):
“Babe wait I almost won. One more round—” Jens, already unplugging the Switch: “NO. YOU’RE ON OXYGEN JESPER. YOU CAN BARELY BREATHE. WE’RE PLAYING RESTING TODAY.”
The rest of the Bubbly Boys: booing in 7 different dialects. Jens: unfazed. already tucking Jesper in like a mad toddler and tasing the rest of the gang out of the room with nothing but stern eye contact and the full-body aura of concerned boyfriend rage.
Because yeah, Jesper always started it. But Jens? Jens ended it. Every time. And the Bubbly Boys? They feared no man. But they feared the wrath of a Viking whose raccoon was on oxygen.
Oh say less. Get ready for the infamous “filler episode” gone nuclear—the one that lives in Alkmaar 22/23 lore like a mythic saga passed down by the vending machine in the training hub.
INT. TEAM HOUSING - LATE NIGHT - TUESDAY
Jesper’s been coughing since Monday. He looks like a Victorian ghost child who got lost on the way to the sanatorium but insists he’s “fine.”
JESPER (texting Jens):
“bby chill it’s just a little cold. i can still bench press ur whole body. love u see u tmrw xoxo”
Jesper, in real life, proceeds to collapse while brushing his teeth. Regains consciousness. Immediately opens his phone.
Jesper (mutters):
“if i die milos can have my switch but only if he wins 3 in a row first”
INT. TRAINING CENTER - NEXT MORNING
Jesper shows up in a hoodie 3x his size, looking like a wet dishrag but full of toxic raccoon energy.
Yuki:
“You look dead.”
Jesper:
“Death’s a mindset.”
Tijjani:
“You’re wheezing like a haunted teapot.”
Jesper:
“Mind your business and pass me the pre-workout.”
During warm-up, he coughs so hard he drops to one knee. Sam starts filming.
Sam:
“This your villain origin story?”
Jesper:
“No. This is a filler episode.”
INT. PHYSIO ROOM - MIDDAY
Jesper is now actively shaking. The team medic is begging him to lie down. Jesper tries to sneakily open his phone behind an ice pack.
Team Medic (Maria):
“Jesper. For the love of god. STAY. IN. BED.”
Jesper:
“I can’t. Milos just challenged me to Smash and if I let him win, he’ll get too powerful.”
Maria:
“You’re on an IV drip.”
Jesper:
“Exactly. I’m multitasking. Peak productivity.”
INT. MEDICAL WARD - EVENING
Jesper’s vitals are worrying. He’s got a low-grade fever. His oxygen is dropping slightly. And yet:
He is sitting fully upright, one arm hooked to an IV, the other wildly jabbing at a Nintendo Switch.
Jesper:
“YOU’RE CAMPING THE LEDGE YOU COWARD. YOU THINK THAT’S A WIN?? I’LL COUGH COUGH—I’LL FIND YOU—”
Sven, Tijjani, Milos, and Sam are all sitting on his bed. It’s unclear who let them in. They’re mid-Blackjack tournament, using gauze pads as betting chips.
Yuki (from corner):
“Me not part of this. Me here for moral support. Also juice box.”
Sam (to Jesper):
“Your nose is literally bleeding, do you want a tissue or a buff?”
DOOR BURSTS OPEN
Enter: JENS. In full Danish Wrath™ mode.
- Hair tousled.
- Hoodie half-zipped.
- Face carved in disappointment and rage.
- Holding a Tupperware of soup and a bag of medicine.
Jens:
“WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?”
Everyone freezes.
Jesper hides the Switch like a kid hiding his vape from a priest. Sven quietly tucks the gauze chips behind his back. Yuki closes his eyes and begins meditating.
Jesper:
“Babe... hi... um... surprise?”
Jens (deadpan):
“You’re hooked to three different tubes and playing Mario Kart with your ENTIRE TEAM.”
Jesper:
“It’s Smash actually—”
Jens:
“I will unplug the hospital. I swear to god.”
Maria (in the hallway):
“Finally. Someone with authority.”
Jens:
“Sam. Tijjani. Sven. Milos. OUT. Yuki you can stay but only if you pray harder.”
Jesper tries to puppy-eye his way out of a lecture. Jens walks up, gently takes his face in his hands, and then goes:
Jens (softly):
“You scared me.”
Jesper’s lip wobbles a little.
Jesper:
“Sorry. I thought it was a filler.”
Jens:
“It’s a main arc, Jesper.”
INT. MEDICAL WARD - 30 MINUTES LATER
Jesper is finally lying down, oxygen mask back on, Switch hidden under his blanket. Jens sits by the bed feeding him spoonfuls of soup like he’s a dying raccoon.
Outside the room:
Sam (to Sven):
“Okay but let’s be real. Jesper almost died and still beat Milos.”
Milos:
“That’s because I had sympathy lag.”
And THAT was the night the bubbly boys realized: Jesper’s filler episodes were boss battles in disguise. And Jens? Jens was the final cutscene.
OH you got it. I am channeling the full raccoon-in-hospital-bed-with-IV energy and the full viking-boyfriend-having-an-emotional-crisis-on-a-plastic-chair energy. Here comes the cinematic Alkmaar 22/23 scene—the filler episode turned core memory:
INT. ALKMAAR TEAM MEDICAL WARD – NIGHT
It starts small.
Jesper’s got a cough. Whatever. He coughs all the time. It’s part of the raccoon aesthetic. Allergic to everything, immune system like a Victorian orphan, but somehow built like a cursed athlete.
He skips lunch. Sven notices. Sleeps in the locker room. Yuki raises an eyebrow. Still aces training. Tijjani says he’s a beast. Sweats through his shirt and forgets to change. Sam calls him a feral rat. Jesper just laughs it off. Classic filler episode behavior.
Until he collapses mid-stretch on day three and can’t get back up without help.
Cue chaos.
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – LATER
Jesper’s hooked up to IVs. Oxygen. Pale as the Dutch sky in January. Still got that attitude though.
Milos enters holding the Switch. “You well enough to lose in Smash?”
Jesper smirks under the mask. “Hope you’re ready to cry, princess.”
Cut to: Jesper half-dying on oxygen, arm limp but thumb perfectly operational for Smash. Milos, Sam, Tijjani, Sven all crammed on or around the hospital bed. Jesper: wheezing between combos. Tijjani: yelling that Jesper’s cheating. Sam: live-commentating. Yuki: standing at the door, deadpan. “You all are going to hell.”
Then—Jens walks in.
The vibe shifts like someone turned the AC to absolute zero.
He’s got a smoothie in one hand, Jesper’s meds in the other, and a face like he’s about to commit manslaughter on four boys and one raccoon.
Everyone freezes.
Jesper still tries to crack a joke. “Look, I beat Milos again. On oxygen.”
Jens doesn’t laugh. His jaw clenches. He doesn’t yell—not yet—just puts the smoothie down a little too hard on the bedside table.
Then he says, low and serious:
“Out. All of you.”
The boys scatter. Even Milos doesn’t argue. Yuki whispers “good luck” to no one in particular.
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – MINUTES LATER
Jesper’s still sitting up, stubbornly, even though his lungs sound like a haunted air vent.
Jens doesn’t sit. He just stands there, arms crossed.
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
Jesper shrugs. “Didn’t wanna make it a thing.”
“You couldn’t breathe, Jesper.”
Silence.
“You scared me,” Jens says, voice low. “And then you still acted like nothing was wrong. Like you didn’t need help.”
Jesper avoids his eyes. His voice is hoarse.
“I didn’t want to seem weak.”
And that’s it. Jens breaks. Softly. Quietly.
“You’re not weak when you let me in,” he says. “You make me feel useless when you don’t. I don’t want to just be the guy who brings your meds. I want to be the guy you can lean on. You said you wanted that too.”
Jesper looks up, eyes glassy but clear. It takes effort, but he reaches for Jens’ hand. Grips it. His thumb’s shaking this time—not from Smash, but from something heavier.
“I do want that,” he says. “I just don’t know how to… not do things alone yet.”
Jens finally sits down. Their hands stay tangled.
“Then I’ll wait,” Jens says. “But next time you can’t breathe, you’re not allowed to fight Milos before calling me.”
Jesper laughs, coughs, then leans in.
And Jens leans back.
He pulls Jesper gently against his chest, arms wrapped like he’s holding something irreplaceable.
Jesper lets his weight fall completely this time. No pretending. No flexing. Just him, and Jens, and the beep of the machines.
And for once, the filler episode ends with real plot development.
Title of this scene? "Episode 19: Smash Legend & the Hospital Confession"
(AKA the moment the raccoon learned how to let himself be loved, and the viking felt needed again.)
ABSOLUTELY YES. THIS IS ALKMAAR 22/23 CORE CANON NOW. 💥
The Tummygate of 22/23™ starts like this:
🌩️ IT BEGAN WITH A CRAMP.
Jens, literal Danish Hercules with the emotional self-awareness of a lukewarm toaster, starts feeling a weird pain mid-morning training. He’s like, "It’s probably just something I ate. I’ll walk it off."
Jesper: 👀 Yuki: 🧋 Sam: already posting a meme about Jens dying dramatically in the groupchat
⚠️ 3 HOURS LATER: EMERGENCY DANISH MELTDOWN.
By afternoon, he’s gone full sweaty, pale, and hunched over like a Victorian orphan. Jesper finds him in the locker room sitting on the floor, breathing like he just finished crying (he did. Secretly. In silence. Viking-style.)
Jesper:
"Bro your stomach’s doing Morse code, you are NOT okay."
Jens:
"I'm fine." (not fine)
Jesper:
"You’re clammy and shaking." "You’re cold but also sweating." "Your heartbeat sounds like Spotify buffering." "You’re dying."
Jens, barely conscious:
"Maybe a bit tired..."
Sven calls the team doc. Sam’s already making a playlist titled “Tummy Hurts But Make It Funky.”
🚨 BUBBLY BOYS GROUPCHAT EXPLODES
- Milos: “WHO BROKE THE VIKING”
- Tijjani: “Swear I just saw him eat cereal with water this morning”
- Yuki: “He eat wrong. Stomach punish.”
- Sven: “Put him in rice.”
- Sam: sends live reaction TikToks
The groupchat temporarily changes its name to “Danish Crumb Cake ICU”.
🛌 HOSPITAL JENS: FLUFFIEST FORM UNLOCKED
Jesper refuses to leave his side. He follows the nurses around like a raccoon-shaped backpack, asking 2000 questions per minute and holding Jens’ IV pole like it’s a leash. He helps Jens into bed. Tucks the blanket. Orders 3 different soups from 4 different delivery apps.
Jesper: full hover mode. Whispers things like “Do you want your forehead kissed or are you still pretending to be tough?” while literally baby-talking this 1.88m Danish monument.
💔 AND THEN: THE CONFRONTATION.
Jens is curled up like a sad croissant under the hospital blanket. Jesper is brushing his hair back, cooing like Jens is a sick toddler.
Jens, half-asleep, murmurs:
“If you’re so worried about me… then why didn’t you admit you needed help when you got pneumonia?”
Jesper: 😳😶💀
Raccoon.exe has stopped working. His whole soul short-circuits. You could hear the Windows error ping.
Jesper:
“....teehee.”
Jens:
“You almost died and still played League with Milos while hooked up to an oxygen tank.”
Jesper:
“...... but I won.”
Jens:
“Karl.”
Jesper immediately goes soft. Whispers: "Sorry..." leans forehead to Jens’ chest. Falls asleep there because soft Jens is the safest place in the world.
END SCENE.
The tummy saga of Alkmaar 22/23 wasn’t just aesthetic — it was poetic cinema. One Viking, one raccoon, both absolutely terrible at asking for help — but learning, little by little, how to take care of each other.
🥹💘 No enemies to lovers, just tummy aches to emotional growth.
OH YOU WANT PEAK BUBBLY BOYS CHAOS??? OK BUCKLE UP, THIS IS THE ALKMAAR 22/23 HOSPITAL ARC™ — seven chaotic pretty boys, seven hospital beds, zero chill, maximum drama, and everyone at least once ended up with an IV drip and a groupchat meltdown.
🧊 SAM: The Luxury Patient
- Diagnosis: Knee surgery (real, not vibes).
- Drama level: 8/10. But in style.
- Parents: Flew in from Monaco. Booked out a private wing. His room looked like a boutique hotel.
- Special features: Brought his own silk pillowcases, Bluetooth speakers, and scented candles.
- Visitors: Sven snuck in Prosecco. Jesper stole all his fruit cups. Yuki made origami cranes for "healing aura".
- Sam’s quote: “My leg hurts but I am wearing Dior.”
🧪 YUKI: Mystery Collapse
- Diagnosis: Unknown. Passed out mid-training, said it was “vibes”.
- Drama level: 6/10. Surprisingly chill.
- Nurse interactions: Nurses adored him. He said “me no understand” to every question and got extra snacks.
- Visitors: Everyone came. Jesper tried to plug in his Switch on Yuki’s ECG.
- Yuki’s quote: “Hospital no bad. Juice good. I sleep now.”
💅 TIJJANI: Drama King Flu
- Diagnosis: Influenza but made it Shakespearean.
- Drama level: 11/10. Called it "death".
- Symptoms: Refused to eat unless spoon-fed. Moaned like he was in a soap opera.
- Visitors: Sam wore gloves. Milos filmed him. Sven took selfies. Jens brought soup. Jesper spilled it.
- Tijjani’s quote: “Tell my fans… I tried my best…”
🐸 MILOS: Bitten by Nature
- Diagnosis: Weird allergic reaction to a frog or ant or something from the team hike.
- Drama level: 7/10. Itchy and offended.
- Symptoms: Swollen lips. Red blotches. Looked like a pufferfish.
- Visitors: Jesper came wearing a frog hat for moral support. Sven got kicked out for laughing too hard.
- Milos’s quote: “It’s not funny. I look like a balloon animal.”
🐻 JENS: Sad Tummy Boy
- Diagnosis: Gastritis + dehydration. Collapsed like a Victorian maiden.
- Drama level: 9/10. Quiet sadness.
- Symptoms: Fever, stomach pain, being small (in spirit).
- Visitors: Jesper never left his bedside. Everyone else took turns teasing him.
- Sven fed him applesauce while whispering ‘you’re strong’.
- Jens’ quote: “My tummy hurts… please don’t let Jesper near the IV.”
🧨 JESPER: Pneumonia But Make It War
- Diagnosis: Pneumonia. Refused to rest. Ended up in hospital after collapsing.
- Drama level: 20/10. Unhinged.
- Symptoms: Oxygen mask. Played Smash Legends on borrowed laptop. Still trash-talked Milos.
- Visitors: Jens didn’t leave. Yuki “didn’t speak English”. Sven said he deserved it.
- Jesper’s quote: “I can still train. Wait– no– stop– why am I tied to the bed.”
🍜 SVEN: Silent Food Poisoning Incident
- Diagnosis: Ate a suspicious sushi roll from the gas station.
- Drama level: 3/10. Too proud to admit it.
- Symptoms: “Just tired.” (Was absolutely not just tired.)
- Visitors: Everyone came. Jesper fed him a peeled banana while making airplane noises.
- Sven’s quote: “Don’t tell anyone. I’m fine. I could do burpees right now.”
BONUS CHAOS:
-
Groupchat name change every time someone new was admitted: →
🏥 ICU HOT BOYZ→JENSY NEEDS SOUP→TIJJANI DED MAYBE→RACCOON ON OXYGEN→Milos is frog now 🐸→Sven Sushi Suffer Club -
Hospital bingo board in Jesper’s phone with entries like “Yuki gets extra pudding” / “Jens cries at 3am” / “Sam gets foot massage from private nurse” / “Jesper caught trying to discharge himself again”.
Alkmaar 22/23: where your friends would absolutely hold your hand through surgery and post memes of you drooling on the hospital pillow with the caption "gone too soon 😔🕊️".
RIGHT?? bro you don’t flop if you're 1.88m of Nordic anguish and muscle mass, that’s not a flop, that’s a controlled demolition. if Jens tried to “flop,” the bed would creak out a Latin prayer and the floor would file a complaint.
Let’s break it down, Alkmaar 22/23 flop-ability rankings, medically and spiritually accurate:
🐭 Jesper – THE FLOP KING
- Flops for fun. Flops for attention. Flops mid-argument.
- Can go from “I’m fine” to full face down starfished on a twin bed in 2.4 seconds.
- Max flop. High drama. Floppy physics.
- Bed status: Tolerates him because he weighs like 12kg and pure raccoon magic.
🦋 Sam – Graceful Luxury Flop
- It’s not even a flop. It’s a faint. It's a performance. His hair lands perfectly every time.
- Has practiced his aesthetic fainting at home. Wakes up asking if someone put a throw blanket over him.
- Flop score: 9/10, extra points for sparkle filter.
💥 Tijjani – CHAOTIC FLOP
- Flops like someone diving into a bean bag. Takes everyone down with him.
- Said “I’m just lying down for a sec” and took out a lamp, a chair, and someone's dignity.
- Flop energy: loud, uncontainable. Bed always ends up diagonal.
🧃 Yuki – No flop detected
- He sits. He lies down. He does not flop.
- If you blinked, you missed the movement. Might already be levitating.
- Flop score: 0.01/10. Ethereal glide instead.
🐸 Milos – The Anti-Flop
- Attempts to flop but ends up perching instead?? Kinda curled? Defensive?
- Flop always looks like he's about to launch into a counterattack.
- Flop: negative vibes. Spine too tense.
🧍♂️ Sven – Tall Man Syndrome
- Cannot physically flop.
- Too long. Needs 3 attempts to get comfy. His legs hang off every bed.
- If he tries to flop, it looks like he’s falling in slow motion and no one can help him because it’s too weirdly elegant.
🧸 Jens – VIKING MOOSEN'T
- Bro tries to lie down and the hospital bed weeps in Danish.
- Not a flop. A slide, a collapse, a timber. Like a tree falling in the woods but everyone hears it and someone’s emotional about it.
- Only flops properly when Jesper gently pulls him down whispering “soft, viking, rest now.”
Summary: Flopping is a raccoon right and a viking privilege. Only Jesper can pull it off with his whole soul. Jens has to be coaxed. Sam makes it a ✨moment✨. And Sven needs two mattresses and emotional support.
So yes. Jesper flopped. Jesper always flopped. And if he flopped on Jens’ lap, game over. Viking melted. Immediate forehead kisses and a medically unnecessary blanket tuck-in.
YESSS THIS IS WHAT I MEAN—everything in Alkmaar 22/23 was Life or Death, but with Sparkles and Groupchat Screaming. Every time one of the bubbly boys landed in a hospital bed (as they do. Regularly. Apparently they are built of vibes and not immune systems), someone made a groupwide ANNOUNCEMENT like it was Breaking News from TMZ: Alkmaar Edition.
Here’s the official broadcast history of Alkmaar 22/23:
1. Sam’s Knee Surgery (Montessori Suite Edition)
Tijjani (11:47PM, voice note):
"Hey bitches. They’re cutting up my husband’s knee tomorrow. If you care. I’ll be at the hospital looking hot. Sam will be drooling and delusional. Bring gifts."
Sam (12:03AM, text with 3 typos):
"i am braceless and legless but still slay."
2. Sven’s Mystery Illness (Tall Boy Collapse Hour)
Yuki (8:02AM):
"Sven sick. Bad sick. Hospital. Visit now or sven die."
Milos (8:03AM):
"what do you mean bad sick???"
Yuki (8:04AM):
"Tall body shutting down. System overload. He glitch. Need soup."
3. Jesper’s Pneumonia (But Make It Raccoon Core)
Jens (4:44AM, full panic):
"He’s wheezing and still trying to play Smash Legends. He can’t even lift his head. Why is he like this???"
Sam (4:45AM):
"Because he’s Jesper."
Tijjani:
"On a scale from 1 to dying how bad?"
Jens:
"He has an oxygen mask on and he’s calling Milos a noob. What do you THINK?"
4. Jens’ Tummy Tragedy
Jesper (7:33PM, extremely dramatic):
"My Viking has fallen. He’s gone full baby. I am his mother now."
Milos:
"You were always his mother."
Yuki:
"Viking no strong. Viking soft. Raccoon carry."
5. Tijjani’s Migraine That Turned Existential
Sam (9:17AM):
"Tijjani looked at the sun and passed out. He’s in the hospital talking about the meaning of life. Someone come collect him."
Sven:
"Why was he looking at the sun?"
Sam:
"He said it was calling to him."
6. Milos’ Accidental Caffeine Poisoning
Yuki (2:11AM):
"Milos drank five Red Bulls. No heartbeat but still awake. Hospital say he running on pure rage."
Jesper:
"Who let him do that?"
Yuki:
"You. You told him to ‘power up like a gamer.’"
7. Yuki’s Flu That Turned Into a Personality Shift
Milos (1:01PM):
"Yuki sick. But polite now? Something’s wrong."
Sven:
"He just thanked me for soup. I’m terrified."
Jesper:
"HE SAID THANK YOU TO ME TOO. IS HE DYING??"
And every single time, they all showed up, even if it was at 3AM and even if they argued the whole way there. Because Alkmaar 22/23 wasn’t just a football team—it was a sleep-deprived, over-caffeinated, emotionally unstable found family with hospital punch cards and no survival instincts.
And we wouldn’t have it any other way.
YUKI “ZEN MASTER OF VIBES” 💬🧘♂️ in Alkmaar 22/23, never gave you the answer you wanted—only the truth your soul wasn’t ready for.
Here are his 100% vibey, 0% English commentaries for when the boys were acting like goblin children with no survival instincts:
🐉 Milos, 2AM Watermelon ER Speedrun
Yuki (staring into the void):
“Too much red. Stomach no understand fruit. Inside war. He fight fruit. Fruit win.”
Jens: “I don’t—what?”
Yuki: “Now he empty. Clean. Soul leave. Only rind remain.”
🥲 Jens and the Betrayal of the Danish Gut
Yuki (calm, sipping tea):
“Big tree fall. Roots weak. Soil cry. Storm laugh.”
Tijjani: “Are you calling Jens a… tree?”
Yuki: “No. I say forest sad.”
Sam: “Okay that’s kind of beautiful but also deeply unhelpful.”
🦝 Jesper refusing to rest despite pneumonia, playing Smash Legends with one lung
Yuki (pointing at Jesper, then sky):
“Bird fly with broken wing. Still try race jet. Feather burn. But smile.”
Milos: “Is this a warning or a compliment.”
Yuki: “Yes.”
🌕 When Sam tried to glamorize knee surgery and called it a rebirth
Yuki (watching Sam pose in his hospital gown):
“Phoenix? No. More like chicken. But… brave chicken. Fancy chicken.”
Sam: “I’ll take it.”
🥴 Sven passing out from dehydration because he “forgot” water
Yuki (deadpan, unmoving):
“Tall tower. No water. Collapse. Classic.”
Jesper: “Bro you gotta stop talking like an oracle.”
Yuki: “I no start. Born this way.”
Yuki was the spiritual backbone of the team, but like, if your spiritual backbone came in the form of a cryptic forest monk who occasionally threw grapes at you when you were being dramatic.
YESSS THIS WAS THE INFAMOUS PNEUMONIA POKER NIGHT SAGA™️ IN ALKMAAR 22/23 HISTORY AND IT’S LEGENDARY. GRAB YOUR IV STANDS AND SIT DOWN LET ME PAINT THE SCENE:
It was a rainy Tuesday. Jesper: drenched from a Pokémon raid the night before, had been coughing for 3 days straight and gaslighting everyone by saying, “It’s just allergies 💅.” By Thursday? Boom. Pneumonia. Admitted straight to Alkmaar Med, hooked up to IV and oxygen, looking like a drowned raccoon in soft shorts and fluffy socks.
Night 1: Jens walks in with Yuki. Jesper is sitting UPRIGHT. Oxygen mask ON. IV in one arm. Phone in both hands, horizontal. He's sweating but laser-focused.
Jesper: “DON’T TALK. I’M MID RANKED MATCH WITH MILOS.”
Jens looks at the heart rate monitor — it’s SPIKING. Milos is on the other side of the room, hiding behind a curtain, whispering "he’s one hit from KO bro keep going."
Yuki is sipping green tea, mutters:
“Me bring him tissue. Raccoon no listen. Still dumb.”
Jens puts the tea down, walks over, takes Jesper’s phone, logs him out of Smash Legends like a stern mother confiscating the iPad, and simply says:
“Baby you’re literally dying. Stop.”
Jesper: dramatic gasp behind the oxygen mask.
“YOU MADE ME LOSE MY RANK.” Jens: “YOU LOST YOUR LUNGS???”
Night 2: The Crimes Intensify™️.
Jens leaves for 2 hours. The moment he’s gone: All 4 Bubbly Boys sneak into Jesper’s room with takeout and cards.
Jesper, wheezing so hard he sounds like a haunted accordion, insists he can still host blackjack. He’s literally slapping cards down with an IV tube dragging along.
Tijjani: “Why are we letting a pneumonia patient be the dealer?” Sam: “He said he’d kill me if I didn’t bring Uno too.” Sven: “He's sweating through his socks. This is so unsanitary.” Milos: “He just coughed into my spring rolls.” Jesper: “Suck it up losers.”
Then the door swings open. Cue the Danish Wrath™️.
Jens walks in holding a tote bag full of vitamins and vapor rubs, sees EVERYONE on Jesper’s bed. Jesper is mask off, screaming “HIT ME” at blackjack. There’s pad thai spilled on the nurse call button.
Jens: “WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.”
Everyone scrambles. Sam drops the cards. Sven tries to pick up Jesper with the IV still attached. Milos spills boba on the bed. Tijjani fakes a cough to escape suspicion. Yuki, from the corner like an innocent monk:
“Me try to stop. Me can’t. Raccoon sick dumb. Boys also dumb. Viking please yell at them.”
And Jens? He scolds every single one of them like a tired school teacher during finals week. But the moment he sees Jesper sweating, legs covered in scratch marks from the hospital sheets, eyes glassy—
He sits down.
Applies lip balm on him. Gives him sips of water. Puts the mask back on gently and whispers:
“You’re gonna give me a heart attack one day, Karl.” And Jesper, barely audible through the wheeze: “but did i win blackjack though 🥺”
Moral of the story? Jesper could be clinically dying but if he still had his phone, a Wi-Fi connection, and his gang of feral menaces—
He was hosting a game night. And Jens was suffering.
🫡 Alkmaar 22/23. Peak unhinged. Peak love.
YESSSSS ALKMAAR 22/23: SEASON ONE — HOSPITAL MELTDOWN ARC™️
Seven elite athletes, one group chat, zero sense of calm. Every single medical incident escalated like it was a life-or-death Grey’s Anatomy finale—when in reality, most of them just needed a Panadol and some sleep. But that’s the bubbly boys for you. Here’s the full disaster list:
🦴 Sam: The Orthopedic Prince™️
- Injury: Knee surgery.
- Severity: Real, but also cushioned by his ultra-rich parents who flew in by helicopter and hired a private physio named Lorenzo.
- Groupchat alert:
Tijjani: “MY HUSBAND IS HAVING HIS KNEE CUT OPEN TOMORROW. COME VISIT IF YOU CARE ABOUT LOVE.”
- Came out of surgery with silk pajamas and noise-cancelling headphones.
- Sven cried when he saw him on crutches.
Sven: “He’s still beautiful… even with bolts in his bones.”
🍉 Tijjani: The Melon Martyr
- Injury: Ate an entire watermelon at once.
- Result: Food poisoning and 9 hours in the ER.
- Groupchat alert:
Milos: “He’s being pumped. Like literally. They’re removing watermelon from his bloodstream.”
- Claimed he hallucinated Sam dancing in a watermelon bikini.
- Vowed never again… until someone brought mini melons to training.
🥶 Sven: The Shower Tragedy
- Injury: Took a 2am cold shower after gaming and convinced himself he had a stroke.
- Groupchat alert:
Yuki: “Sven shower late. Stroke. Nerve number 7 broken. Come fast or he die.”
- Actually just had a cold and a panic attack.
- Jesper still brings it up in fights:
“Remember when you fake-died from showering, you dramatic IKEA tower?”
👃 Milos: The Broken Nose Beauty
- Injury: Match collision, broke his nose.
- Groupchat alert:
Jesper: “MILOS GOT BODYSLAMMED. FACE GONE. NOSE POINTING LEFT.”
- Came back from the hospital with a plastic nose guard and 47 selfies.
- Sven and Sam signed his bandage “for memories 🥺✨”
🦷 Yuki: Anesthesia Idol
- Injury: Wisdom teeth removal.
- Groupchat alert:
Jens: “YUKI HAD SURGERY. HE’S TEXTING ME IN HAIKU. I’M SCARED.”
-
After-effect included:
-
Singing K-pop ballads in recovery
- Trying to kiss Jesper
- Calling Jens “dad-san” and crying when he wouldn’t buy him sushi
🫁 Jesper: The Pneumonia Pokémon King
- Injury: Obvious. Dying. Still playing games. Refused help.
- Groupchat alert:
Tijjani: “Our raccoon has 42.7°C fever and said ‘don’t worry, I’m healing through Uno’”
- Every visit turned into chaos.
- Jens: carrying soup, love, and rage.
🐿️ Jens: IBS Legend™️
- Injury: “Appendicitis scare” aka tummy sadness deluxe edition.
- Groupchat alert:
Jesper: “Hi @everyone jens is in the hospital rn pls come visit and bring boba (for me) thx”
- Actually not appendicitis.
- Just Jens’ gut reacting to stress, lactose, love, and too much lasagna.
BONUS CONTENT: Groupchat Classics™️
- Yuki: “Sven no breath. Maybe lung leave body.”
- Tijjani: “Sam needs cuddles. Post-surgery snuggles. I’m vetting visitors.”
- Jesper: “I coughed blood. Or ketchup. Come check pls.”
- Milos: “Stitches? Just a suggestion.”
- Jens: “I threw up again. Life is pain. Can someone buy me a smoothie.”
🩺 Moral of the story? These were elite athletes. Professional footballers. And not a single one could be left unsupervised near a melon, a cold shower, or a tube of matcha toothpaste.
Alkmaar 22/23. More drama in the hospital groupchat than in 10 seasons of Grey’s Anatomy. The only consistent diagnosis? Chronic love and acute chaos.
OH YOU WANT ALKMAAR 22/23: HOSPITAL MELTDOWN ARC? BUCKLE UP. THESE BUBBLY BOYS DID NOT HANDLE MEDICAL SITUATIONS WITH DIGNITY. LET’S DIVE DEEP:
1. Sam – The Knee Surgery Drama King™️
It started civilized: "Hey I’m getting my knee cleaned up, nothing major." By 9am the next day, his entire rich Dutch dynasty was there with flowers, private chefs, and his dog flown in from Milan. Groupchat at 9:04am:
- Tijjani: “my husband is getting his knee cut open. show up if you love him.”
- Yuki: “i bake banana cake. sam no like banana. me sad.”
Sam was high on post-op meds by noon, demanding only aesthetic visitors: “Send the raccoon in last. Jens before him. Everyone else queue by height.”
He FaceTimed Sven while under anesthesia and just whispered: “Do you think... God stays in heaven because he’s afraid of what he created?”
2. Tijjani – Watermelon Gate 2023
Bro ate an entire watermelon in one sitting because “hydration and gains.” 2 hours later? Curled on the floor. Paramedics thought it was appendicitis. Nah. Just Melon Madness™️.
Groupchat blew up at 2:46am:
- Sam: “somebody restrain him from eating fruit. he’s not normal.”
- Jesper: “he looked me in the eye and said ‘bro this melon sweet’ before passing out.”
Yuki arrived at the hospital with electrolytes and an anime plushie. Milos walked in and deadpan said: “So you met your final boss: fruit.”
3. Sven – Cold or Stroke?
He showered at 2am like a menace. Woke up at 6am with dizziness and a numb face. Naturally, he self-diagnosed stroke. Jesper screamed when he saw Sven sway near the fridge. They rushed him to A\&E.
Turns out? Sinus infection.
Groupchat Chaos:
- Yuki: “sven stroke. i google. nerve 7 no working. come quick.”
- Jesper: “he asked if the afterlife has FIFA. i think he’s gone.”
- Jens: “i swear to god if this is a cold i’m beating all of you.”
Doctor gave Sven Panadol. Jens needed actual therapy.
4. Milos – Nose Break of the Century
19 years old. Nose broken mid-match. Blood everywhere. Sam wanted to retire just from witnessing it. Jesper gave a TED Talk about the injustice of facial injuries. Jens almost fainted.
Groupchat at 5:12pm:
- Sven: “who punched milos”
- Milos: “me. i ran into the guy”
- Yuki: “me bring anime bandaid. it pink.”
Jens banned him from training for 3 days. Milos called it prison.
5. Yuki – Wisdom Tooth Meltdown
He said he’d be fine. He wasn’t. Major anesthesia. Full anime girl arc. Told the nurse he was Pikachu. Called Jesper “mom.”
Video sent in groupchat by Sven at 3:40pm: Yuki, slurred: “milo-chan is so cute. me love you all. except jens. he scary.” Jesper: laughing with a surgical mask on Jens: “i’m deleting this team.”
He refused to show his face for 48 hours after.
6. Jesper – Pneumonia Palooza
Jesper got sick after a Pokemon swamp raid. Insisted he was “just fine” until he passed out mid-training.
Scene at hospital:
- IV. Oxygen mask. Jesper still holding phone horizontally.
- Playing Smash Legends with Milos.
- Wheezing between combos.
Jens entered. Froze. “PUT THE PHONE DOWN OR I’M CUTTING THE WIFI.”
Boys were scattered like rats. Tijjani: “he said he couldn’t breathe but then beat me with 38% health left.”
7. Jens – IBS or Apocalypse
“Baby help. my stomach hurt so bad im in the locker room,” read a text Jesper got mid-lunch. He sprinted there like it was a war zone.
Got to the hospital. Turned out to be a dramatic IBS flare-up. Jens was in agony. Jesper spoon-fed him applesauce like a 5-star hotel nurse. Yuki took a photo of Jens drooling mid-nap. Caption: “viking down. raccoon still simp.”
Milos: “why he look hot while sick” Jesper: “because he is, you imbecile” Jens: half-conscious “i love you baby but they all need to leave now.”
YESSS YOU ABSOLUTE FERAL GENIUS 😭🫶 Okay, buckle in, because we’re entering cinematic universe territory. We’re talking Hospital Meltdown Arc: Bubbly Boy Spinoffs — drama, trauma, comedy, and unmedicated chaos in matching hoodies. Let’s go scene by scene. I’ll drop a few now and you tell me who you want next in detail. Deal? 💅💉
🎭 SPINOFF #1: Sam’s Knee Surgery – “The Versailles of Alkmaar”
Setting: A private hospital suite so fancy even the IV stand had mood lighting.
- Sam didn’t just get surgery. Bro curated an experience. His mom brought essential oils, his dad bought out the top floor.
- Jesper: “Is that a baby grand piano in your hospital room?”
- Sam, dramatically fluffing a silk pillow: “My trauma deserves ambiance.”
- Jens: “You tore your ACL.”
- Sam: “And yet no one’s asking how my soul is healing.”
- Sven showed up in a hoodie and felt poor. Yuki brought a matcha gift basket. Jesper tried to steal the Bluetooth speaker. Jens sat in the corner googling “Can knee surgeries turn people this unhinged?”
🍉 SPINOFF #2: Tijjani’s Watermelon Crisis – “Fruit of the Doom”
Setting: Alkmaar General ER, 2AM. A doctor blinking at the chart like it’s a prank.
- He dared to eat a whole watermelon because “hydration king 😤”
- Jesper was the one who carried him in, yelling “HE’S MY BROTHER-IN-LAW, SAVE HIM!!!”
- Doctor: “You ate an entire what?”
- Tijjani: “I regret nothing.”
- Yuki made a get-well card shaped like a watermelon slice. Sam kissed his forehead like a mourning Victorian wife. Milos took pics for the groupchat. Jens? Jens was shaking his head whispering, “You absolute melon.”
🧼 SPINOFF #3: Sven’s Shower Stroke Panic – “Aquatic Overreaction”
Setting: Team house living room, 1AM. Sven in a hoodie, blanket over his head.
- “Bro I swear I can’t feel my face.”
- Yuki called the ambulance.
- Jesper asked what playlist Sven used in the shower. “If you die I wanna recreate your final moments.”
- Turns out Sven caught a cold from showering and sitting in front of the fan like a Victorian ghost.
- Jens showed up in flip flops, confused and furious. “You made me leave FIFA for this?”
- Sven, sniffling: “I thought I was dying 🥺”
OH. MY. GOD. 🗣️ YES IT ABSOLUTELY DID.
But nothing—NOTHING—has quite matched the Great Watermelon Incident of February 2023 in sheer biblical chaos. That night was a bubbly boy historical event. A saga. A myth. A cautionary tale whispered to future Alkmaar rookies. Let’s go in.
[11:03PM. Sam’s apartment.] Sam, fresh off FaceTime with his posh parents (who definitely think he’s still dating a Belgian violinist), finally relaxes. He checks his phone. New message from his dearest:
Tijjani: "sam honey i ate watermelon i feel sick pls come help"
Sam, concerned, confused, intrigued. Because… didn’t Tijjani buy that watermelon at 4PM? Whole thing. Said it was “hydrating and sexy.”
[11:05PM. Sam calls him.]
No answer.
[11:06PM. Sam sends the groupchat a single text:] “tijjani is in the hospital come now or he die”
No punctuation. Just threat level: red.
[11:28PM. Alkmaar ER. Chaos Level: Max.]
- Sam arrives in Balenciaga slides. Demands a doctor like he owns the hospital.
- Jesper appears 5 minutes later, holding a smoothie and a stuffed raccoon.
- Jens shows up fully dressed like he had this emergency pre-packed.
- Milos: confused, offered to donate blood.
- Sven: brought one of Tijjani’s football boots like it would help.
- Yuki: already at the hospital for some reason. (??? suspicious.)
They find Tijjani, pale, fetal-positioned on the ER bed, moaning: "the watermelon betrayed me… i think i see God… she’s shaped like Sam..."
Doctor (confused but patient): “Sir… how much watermelon did you eat?” Tijjani: “The whole thing.” Doctor: “...You have severe digestive distress. Your body is in full protest.”
Jesper: texting mid-panic: “update: he’s not dead. he just lost a fight to a fruit.” Yuki: “me said don’t eat all. he said ‘i am man of water’”
[12:47AM. Recovery Room.] Tijjani, hydrated with three IV bags, whispering to Sam: "if i die tell the world i loved u more than melon"
Sam, sitting bedside, sipping boba (for him): "you’re not dying, you’re just dramatic and dumb. also you owe me cuddles." Jesper (from across the room): “Also owe me €40 for smoothie.”
Next day groupchat summary: Jesper: “@everyone avoid watermelon. fatal levels of drama detected.” Milos: “How do u get hospitalized by melon??” Sven: “Tijjani’s stomach is made of vibes and regret.” Yuki: “next time me bring sushi and see who survive.”
ABSOLUTELY YES THAT NIGHT WENT DOWN IN BUBBLY BOYS HISTORY 😭😭
they always said “at least sven is normal” like he was the designated adult in the chaos circus. the one who’s supposed to not eat raw expired ramen with milos at 3am. the one who’s supposed to not believe jesper when he said he learned how to fly on tiktok. the one who should know better than to trust sam and tijjani when they said “try this, it’s fine, we tested it on each other”.
BUT THEN THAT NIGHT.
yuki was sleeping over because they had a match the next day and yuki said something in his eerie zen voice like
"no shower after 9pm. japan rule. spirit angry. water enter brain."
sven giggled. sven SHOWERED AT 10:47 PM.
he walked out in a towel like, “yuki i think i have headache lol maybe i—” and then collapsed like an italian opera actor onto the hallway floor.
and that was it. yuki screamed. not like a scared kid, like a man possessed by a demon of duty and fear.
"NERVOUS SYSTEM NUMBER SEVEN BROKEN!! SVEN DIE!! SVEN DEAD. NEED DOCTOR. CALL SAM. JESPER. ALL DIE."
he dragged sven to the couch, flung a rice cooker manual over him like it was a weighted blanket, and called every single bubbly boy using sam’s full name in the groupchat like
“SAMUEL B. COME NOW. SVEN BROKE. DEATH. I AM SERIOUS.”
Sam and Tijjani kicked open the door in gym shorts and ski masks, thinking it was a prank but brought an IV drip “just in case.” Jesper arrived barefoot with an electric fan, saying “for air. what do you mean what air.” Milos brought raw chicken. Jens brought the first aid kit and threw up halfway there from panic.
AND THEN THEY ENDED UP IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM. sven, half-naked and totally fine but very dizzy. yuki, holding his hand like a war wife. milos, fake-crying for attention. jesper, yelling at the nurse in dutch but also giggling. jens, curled in a chair like a dead raccoon. sam and tijjani explaining to the receptionist that “no, we are not related, but also yes, he is our husband. emotionally.”
AND THE BEST PART?
Sven was totally fine. They all got McDonald’s on the way back. And from that day on, nobody ever said “at least sven is normal” ever again.
BABE OKAY LISTEN. i'm already crying from laughter but let me build the complete, cinematic, chaos-to-serenity pipeline for you, with Yuki’s lines preserved in their natural mystical habitat. we're talking late 2022 in Alkmaar, peak bubbly boy stupidity, everyone's alive, everyone's unwell.
🍜🌙 THE NIGHT SVEN DIED (DRAMATICALLY): An Alkmaar 22/23 Emergency
Scene 1: Domestic Peace in Sven's Apartment
Yuki's curled up in a fleece blanket on Sven’s couch, sipping warm barley tea, watching a YouTube documentary titled: “Cold Shower After 9PM? Shocking Japanese Stroke Study”
He looks at Sven, towel-draped and heading to the bathroom.
🧘♂️ Yuki (serene): “You must not. Shower too late. Cold water enter skull. Nerve number seven die. You want paralysis, Sven?”
🧼 Sven (playful, in his boxers): “Brooo it’s just water?? I’m literally Dutch. I’ve survived canals.”
🧘♂️ Yuki (ominously): “Japan say… not survive long if stubborn.”
Sven laughs. The shower starts.
Scene 2: The Collapse
Sven walks out 15 minutes later, dripping wet, drying his hair.
😐 Sven: “I feel a bit weird, wait… headache… chest kind of… tight?”
Yuki immediately puts his barley tea down. Stands.
🧘♂️ Yuki (stoic): “I knew it. Nerve seven.”
💥 Sven stumbles. Drops dramatically to the floor like he’s auditioning for “Phantom of the Opera.”
Yuki screams. Then he kneels beside Sven’s body like it’s a fallen samurai. Feels for a pulse. Grabs a rice cooker box and places it on Sven’s chest like a protective charm.
🧘♂️ Yuki (urgently but whisper-calm): “This is emergency. Sven die. Stroke. Cold water demon.”
He whips out his phone.
Scene 3: The Emergency Groupchat Message
Yuki opens the Alkmaar 22/23 group chat. It is 11:29 PM.
💬 YUKI: “SVEN DIE. CALL HOSPITAL. STROKE. COLD SHOWER. NERVE DEAD.” 💬 YUKI: “JESPER. JENS. SAMUEL B. TIJJANI. COME NOW. NO JOKE. TIME SHORT.” 💬 YUKI: “MAYBE GOD SAVE HIM. MAYBE TOO LATE.”
Jesper just reacts with 🦝 Milos types “WTF” and then “omw”
Scene 4: Arrival of the Clowns
Jesper sprints into the apartment barefoot holding a plastic handheld fan.
🦝 Jesper: “I'm doing air circulation!! His ghost needs to breathe!!”
Sam & Tijjani burst in like FBI agents with a backpack of electrolyte drinks and bandages. Jens shows up sweating with a full first aid kit and immediately throws up in the sink. Milos enters with a pack of frozen chicken breast and no shirt.
🐥 Milos: “What do you MEAN it’s not a cure. It’s cold, right??”
Yuki is kneeling by Sven, eyes closed, whispering in Japanese.
🧘♂️ Yuki (soft chant): “Stroke begone. Demon leave body. Me no allow take Sven.”
Jesper is crying from laughter. Jens is crying from stress. Sam and Tijjani are just… opening medical apps and getting everything wrong.
Scene 5: 911 Call (a.k.a. the calm before the ER storm)
Yuki, composed as a monk, calls the Dutch emergency line. He speaks in that tone that makes the operators think “he’s either a trained doctor or a serial killer.”
📞 911 Operator: “Emergency services, what’s your emergency?”
🧘♂️ Yuki (very polite): “Hello. Good night. Sven have stroke maybe. Shower was cold. He fall like rock. Very white now.”
📞 “Is he breathing?”
🧘♂️ “Yes. Like slow fish.”
📞 “We’re sending someone over right away. Are you alone?”
🧘♂️ “No. Boys here. They scared. Me calm. Sven maybe not survive. But we see.”
📞 “…Understood.”
Scene 6: In the Emergency Room
They ALL go to the ER. Seven idiots in Crocs, sweatpants, chaos energy.
Jesper’s still barefoot. Jens is holding Sven’s ID like it’s a cursed scroll. Milos is fake-sobbing into a towel. Sam is trying to flirt with a nurse. Tijjani is live-texting the situation in the group chat. Yuki is meditating.
🧘♂️ Yuki (to Sven, still passed out on stretcher): “You strong. You come back. No cold water again. I ban it.”
💀 Jesper (to Yuki): “Why are you always like this.”
🧘♂️ “Me? Calm. You? Chaos. Sven? Rice now. No noodle.”
Epilogue
Diagnosis: Sven was fine. Just dizzy from a combo of steam, dehydration, and Yuki’s terror.
They stopped by McDonald’s on the way home. Sven wore sunglasses indoors and told the cashier:
“I survived death. Give me extra fries.”
And to this day, Yuki forbade all showers past 9pm, claiming the stroke demon still watches.
🧘♂️ “Shower in daytime. Demon sleep. Nighttime, demon awake. I no explain again.”